Divorce and Dysfunctional Families

Recently, I decided to read a book by Kenneth Hagin (Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage) which I had bought quite a while ago and never actually got around to reading. Only a couple of pages into the book, I realized that I held a gem in my hands. It was such a treasure and had me wishing I had read it a long time ago.

In the early part of the book, he told a story about how he and his younger brother grew up hating their father for leaving them and their mom when they were still very little, they even considered killing him when they got older. I was surprised that someone so blessed like Kenneth Hagin, came from a dysfunctional home and still turned out as he did; Greatness! Broken homes and dysfunctional families is a topic I'm very passionate about

Divorce, abandonment or separations are not easy. They are not easy on the kids who get traumatized in several ways, and not easy for the partner who has been left standing alone. Most times, a partner is left with caring for the kids, providing them an education with little or no help. It is especially harder on young women when for some reason, the man walks out on his family. She is left to struggle with multiple jobs and still be a presence in the lives of her children. Some of these women lapse into emotional traumas and in extreme cases, some get suicidal. Only a few lucky ones get help from external family members or good Samaritans who happen to stumble upon their situation.

However, it is just as bad when the men folk get left, more so when they get left with kids. Now we all know men are not nurturing creatures and few have any idea how to care for kids. If you've ever come across a man whose wife has abandoned him, in common instances; run off with another man, it's always a sorry sight. He is confused, with no idea how to look after his kids, get them to eat right, take baths, get to school on time, do the laundry, cook etc etc

To bring it home a bit, in Nigeria, a single mother has it harder than most, being that our system isn't exactly structured to assist such people, (yes, I know we now have Non Governmental Organizations whose purposes are to shelter and care for these women and kids) she is forced to forget having a personal, social or even love life in the struggle to provide for her children in the midst of so much poverty and difficulty. I realize that not all single mothers are abandoned or divorced, some are single by choice and design, others are wealthy enough to comfortably take care of themselves and families. My concern however, is those who can't because they are the majority and the less privileged. They are never encourage to remarry, in fact, they're seen as wayward women, if they do remarry. The society expects that they devote the rest of their lives to raising their kids and keep away from socializing or dating again.

The injury and effect of broken homes on the kids are damaging. Inferiority complexes, tainted views of men or women(depending on which parent got left), fear of marriage, lack of respect for authorities are some ways that it tells on the children. Collectively, societies need to pay more attention to this situations and be at alert to help rescue families that suddenly find themselves at this point. Individually, people need to pay more mind to their surroundings and neighbors and take it upon themselves to lend a hand when needed. For, it is this humanity characteristic that sets us apart from animals.